Trogging
There are two good things about trogging (trampoline jogging, and yes, I made that word up): first, it gets you in shape. Second, it sounds like something naked British people would do together. So that's awesome.
Also awesome is the fact that it's easy to do in front of the TV. I used to have a rule that I couldn't watch anything from Netflix unless I was trogging. It worked; I was a total fox and everyone wanted to have sex with me. Then we moved the TV downstairs (which has too low a ceiling for trogging) and I got squishy again.
Trogging is good for those who would like to be joggers, but have joint problems or just hate the sound of their feet slapping on the pavement (that's me--the sound makes me feel tired, and I just find the jarring sensation annoying). Trogging is a lot kinder to the feet and joints, though I suppose it's not a good idea if you have severe ankle or knee problems, especially since your ankles keep you stabilized and in the upright position (as in ice skating, weak ankles can be bad in trogging). The trampoline is bouncy, of course, in a way that sidewalks and treadmills aren't, and for that reason I find trogging to be much more pleasant and safe than its more natural alternative.
It doesn't take much to get started, either. Trampoline, running shoes, and a sports bra are really all you need (sports bra optional for men).
There are two steps to trogging:
1. Get one of these or something like it.*
2. Trog.
It's easy to cheat. It's easy to just kind of barely move your feet in a manner that means it will take you ten hours to burn four calories. I make sure I've got good, fast music on, and I make sure I'm jogging to the beat to avoid cheating. I do that for half an hour. Or I watch something long (like a Netflix movie) and then it doesn't matter if I'm cheating--I just keep on keepin' on until I about fall off the trampoline.
If you enjoy feeling as if you are going to die, you can try trogging with high knees for a while. I usually do this for about thirty seconds before my abdomen is on fire. The game, then, is to do high knees every time I hit a refrain. So when Ashlee Simpson** is all "Whatcha been doin, whatcha been doin," I take it easy. Then when she's suddenly like "Heyhowlongtilthemusicdrownsyououtdon'tputwordsupinmymouthIdidn'tstealyourboyfriend" then I gotta hit it with the high knees. And it hurts. But ... it's GOOD.
Other trogging options: bouncing without bending knees (for calves), jumping jacks, hit-your-butt-with-your-own-heels, and so on. It's surprising how tiring one activity will be for your abs, another for your calves, etc. Experiment. Then enjoy your hotness.
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*Some of these trampolines are really expensive, which I find kind of ridiculous. These days an "urban rebounder" (uh, little trampoline, in other words) can cost upward of $250. Honestly, I think my trampoline was $12 on sale. It may not be a 40" ... may be a little smaller ... but it really doesn't matter. It works fine.
**Yes, I listen to Ashlee Simpson while exercising. And Britney Spears. And Justin Timberlake. And Hilary Duff. There's just something about much-hated pop music that keeps the feet going. But I don't just listen to teen queens--Kanye West's "Jesus Walks" is a great exercise song.
Also awesome is the fact that it's easy to do in front of the TV. I used to have a rule that I couldn't watch anything from Netflix unless I was trogging. It worked; I was a total fox and everyone wanted to have sex with me. Then we moved the TV downstairs (which has too low a ceiling for trogging) and I got squishy again.
Trogging is good for those who would like to be joggers, but have joint problems or just hate the sound of their feet slapping on the pavement (that's me--the sound makes me feel tired, and I just find the jarring sensation annoying). Trogging is a lot kinder to the feet and joints, though I suppose it's not a good idea if you have severe ankle or knee problems, especially since your ankles keep you stabilized and in the upright position (as in ice skating, weak ankles can be bad in trogging). The trampoline is bouncy, of course, in a way that sidewalks and treadmills aren't, and for that reason I find trogging to be much more pleasant and safe than its more natural alternative.
It doesn't take much to get started, either. Trampoline, running shoes, and a sports bra are really all you need (sports bra optional for men).
There are two steps to trogging:
1. Get one of these or something like it.*
2. Trog.
It's easy to cheat. It's easy to just kind of barely move your feet in a manner that means it will take you ten hours to burn four calories. I make sure I've got good, fast music on, and I make sure I'm jogging to the beat to avoid cheating. I do that for half an hour. Or I watch something long (like a Netflix movie) and then it doesn't matter if I'm cheating--I just keep on keepin' on until I about fall off the trampoline.
If you enjoy feeling as if you are going to die, you can try trogging with high knees for a while. I usually do this for about thirty seconds before my abdomen is on fire. The game, then, is to do high knees every time I hit a refrain. So when Ashlee Simpson** is all "Whatcha been doin, whatcha been doin," I take it easy. Then when she's suddenly like "Heyhowlongtilthemusicdrownsyououtdon'tputwordsupinmymouthIdidn'tstealyourboyfriend" then I gotta hit it with the high knees. And it hurts. But ... it's GOOD.
Other trogging options: bouncing without bending knees (for calves), jumping jacks, hit-your-butt-with-your-own-heels, and so on. It's surprising how tiring one activity will be for your abs, another for your calves, etc. Experiment. Then enjoy your hotness.
---------
*Some of these trampolines are really expensive, which I find kind of ridiculous. These days an "urban rebounder" (uh, little trampoline, in other words) can cost upward of $250. Honestly, I think my trampoline was $12 on sale. It may not be a 40" ... may be a little smaller ... but it really doesn't matter. It works fine.
**Yes, I listen to Ashlee Simpson while exercising. And Britney Spears. And Justin Timberlake. And Hilary Duff. There's just something about much-hated pop music that keeps the feet going. But I don't just listen to teen queens--Kanye West's "Jesus Walks" is a great exercise song.
posted by Schnozz at 11:39 PM
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